Grunts Vs Geeks
by Cha-Cha
Summary: With the tension between the Grunts and Geeks mounting who will pay the price? NOT DEATH FIC!


Author: Cha-Cha 

**Disclaimer: I don't own the show or the characters so please don't sue me!**

There are some things you expect when being stranded in another Galaxy with no way home. Tension occurring between people, maybe a few arguments, food running out and friendships to spring up, maybe a few relationships. For Weir however, she had never imagined things to get so out of hand.

They had been here a while and although the relationship between the Soldiers and Scientists wasn't the best, it was manageable. Some, such as Major Sheppard and Dr McKay, became friends quickly, even with their good-natured bantering.

For others however, the tension was thick enough to cut with a knife, especially with Dr Kavanaugh and his views. He was one such person Weir was keeping a very close watch on.

However, even with certain people being watched, things did slowly begin to deteriorate resulting in this.

Sitting on her chair, she waited for the man to recover consciousness. Beckett was hovering nearby, checking regularly on his other patient who was a lot less injured, mostly cold and shocked at what had happened. Looking in front of her, she could see the same worry painted across the faces of his other team members as they each sat in their positions, McKay on another uncomfortable plastic seat while Teyla and Ford sat on the bed they had pulled closer.

Thinking back on the past week, she couldn't actually place when all of this had really started. She supposed it had been small things to begin with, small things that grated on nerves, before really escalating resulting in Major Sheppard being unconscious under Beckett's kind supervision and another Scientist, Dr Radek Zelenka being kept in for observation until the doctor was sure he was alright.

The first she had heard about it was after this incident when both sides had come clean about everything that had been affectionately called the 'Grunts/Geeks manoeuvers' Although there had been other hints such things had been happening, she had mostly been kept in the dark by her position. With the amount of problems happening over the last week, she had asked Sheppard to take over all the complaints from the expedition team.

She was now beginning to wonder if she had done the right thing.

**1 week before**

'I hear you're the one this week to go to with complaints!' McKay stated wickedly as he sat down with a mug of coffee in his lab, Sheppard following closely behind.

'Yeah, she stuck me with it because I apparently have too much free time and she wants to catch up on paper work. How can you still end up with paper work in another galaxy?' the Major replied, pondering his last question.

'Beats me.' McKay replied, looking a new artefact over. It was a long rod with engravings down the side. At either end were small opaque, white pebbles.

'Do you have any complaints you're saving up for me?' Half expecting a long list of things he had yet to tell Weir yet.

'Not really, unless you count every time I or Zelenka or for that matter any of us wish to go exploring in the city, apart from you and Ford, most of the other soldiers turn up late. Some don't even turn up at all unless one of us fetches them. I can understand them trying to get out of having to spend time with Kavanaugh but it does impede our efforts to see if the cities safe or to find new technology.' McKay enlarged his answer as he realised a slightly larger picture than just him being stood up.

'I'll have a word with them.' John promised. Soldiers were supposed to be punctual; it was essential to what they were doing. It would be disastrous if a soldier turned up late to an important battle or to take up a post.

Heading along to a room that had been commandeered by most of the soldiers when off duty, Sheppard found many of those who weren't off world or guarding the gate room.

'Sir!' a few of the men and women acknowledged, a little more than surprised to see their CO in there.

'I take it you've heard I'm the person to see if you have complaints.' The CO state knowing that everyone had received that announcement. All in the room nodded.

'I've had a complaint about military people being tardy for engagements with scientist. Do you have an explanation for this?'

There was still silence saving only for the rustle of clothing as people shook their heads. 'I don't want to hear of it again. Got it?' This time there was a firm 'No Sir.' before Sheppard left the room.

As he walked down the corridor back to his own room, he figured he could try and read another chapter of War and Peace, a young Lieutenant ran up behind him from his way back from being on duty.

'Avons, what can I do for you?' John asked good-naturedly.

'Well Sir, it's the Scientists,' he began.

Sheppard sighed. This was going to be one long day.

His week continued in the same fashion. The Scientists complained about the Soldiers: complaining about the better food they received, the stamping of their boots outside their doors at half five in the morning and the general rudeness of them. About to go and see his military personnel, he was then bombarded by the complaints from Marines, Air force and Army personnel alike about the Scientists. These complaints mostly consisted of power outages every time they used the Gym or washing machines, salt being swapped for sugar and being called at all hours to help test things.

Each time he received a complaint, he would talk to the individuals involved, and only to have roughly the same group come back the next day with a more serious complaint.

It wasn't even one or two people involved, as far as he could see there were at least two dozen from each group.

'How's it going?' Weir asked as she saw the Major slamming his head against his desk in his room as she entered.

'Fantastically!' he drawled.

'Well, you'll be glad to know I'll take over again tomorrow. Anything I should know?'

'Things are a little tense between the Scientists and Soldiers. I don't think it's overly serious but…' he trailed off, not sure if it was just being put on for him or not.

'Go have something to eat, you've been here nearly all day, or so McKay has told me.' Weir instructed him good-naturedly.

'I didn't know he noticed...or cared for that matter.'

'I was surprised as well but I guess we learn something new about him every day.' Elizabeth replied with a smile, 'I believe Ford and Teyla are in the cafeteria with him now.' She added before leaving his room.

'So where are we heading to tomorrow?' Sheppard asked as he sat down with his team sat in the cafeteria with a mug of coffee in his hand. By this time, he really needed it!

'P43 99X4. It's supposedly an uninhabited planet full of Waterfalls from what we can see.' Ford replied eagerly, glad to see his CO looking a little more relaxed than he had been over the previous few days.

'I have not visited this planet before and I do not believe there are any people there as my people have never traded there.' Teyla added. She had begun to enjoy the taste of caffeine, although she would prefer a good cup of her tea any day.

'Why are we visiting there anyway, there aren't any power signatures or sign of advanced technology that can help us defeat the Wraith?' McKay grumbled, thinking of all the things that were waiting in his lab for testing.

'Because we may need an off world base for if the Wraith attack here.' Sheppard explained in his much-too-patient-to-be-true voice. Rodney simply rolled his eyes while Teyla ad Aiden exchanged a smile; both knew this might escalate into another one of their infamous fights.

'Well if we went to more planets with strong power signatures we wouldn't need an off world base since we would have our own working ZedPM and the Shield would work.' The Scientist retorted. However, before the banter could escalate further, a noise drew their attention over to the other side of the cafeteria

There, there was a Scientist, Dr Kavanaugh and hot-tempered young Marine.

'Why don't you watch where you're going!'? The older scientist growled. Spinning on his heals; the Marine faced the Doctor before replying.

'What do you mean where I'm going? You're the one who walked into me!'

'It is manners to apologise to you're elder and betters!'

'Well then, I suppose one out of two is accurate! Older certainly, but better? You're ego is so large I'm surprised it can fit in this room!'

'Oh, well I don't see you with a doctorate or anything special really! Only the muscle while we do all of the important things around here!' Kavanaugh kept going.

'Without us you would just be Wraith food. You can't even admit you need us 'cos you're dead without us! And what's so important that you do? Play around with toys all day! Yeah I can see why you need a doctorate for that!'

The two men began to leave the room, still fiercely arguing, their voices growing louder and louder.

Seeing this wasn't going to end diplomatically, Sheppard nodded to Ford to make his way behind Kavanaugh while he went for Jobbs. They followed the two men out of the room, around the corner and onto the open aired balcony where the Czech scientist, Zelenka was working.

Not wishing to leave their friends where a fight may break out, Teyla and McKay also followed, calling Weir on the way in case things got too out of hand.

The row did begin to escalate; first, it was a shove from Kavanaugh, so Jobbs shoved back, both getting dangerously close to the edge, Zelenka trapped behind them.

Rushing in, Sheppard and Ford began to try and keep the two men off each other. Arms flew all around, as they struggled to free themselves. It was one of these flying limbs, although impossible to tell whos in the confusion that caught the unfortunate man.

Watching in horror, Radek fell through the railings, plunging into the cold sea below.

All were instantly at the edge looking below. Sheppard was the first to react, diving off the edge into the sea after him, remembering a conversation he had had less than a week before. Zelenka couldn't swim.

Not wasting any time, even Kavanaugh went without his usual wining, complaining or deference of blame, the five of them rushed to the transporter, informing Weir and Beckett on the way, to the pier nearest their entry point.

Arriving there, they could not see anything; neither the Officer nor the Scientist. Watching hopefully, they suddenly saw Sheppard and Zelenka burst out of the water.

The Major was holding onto the scientist while tread watering. Helping him lay on his back, he began to swim to where he could hear his friends calling.

Although it wasn't too far in the cold water while helping someone else, it was shattering. Finally, he reached the side, arms reached down to help him up as it was a small way up from the water to the land.

'Help him first.' Was all Sheppard could get out, helping the terrified man up. He was so absorbed in this; he never noticed the slightly larger wave coming up behind him.

Although more people had arrived, there wasn't the space for them to begin being useful. Beckett made sure the man was whisked away as fast as humanly possible after a quick check over, seeing there was nothing wrong, minus the cold and wet.

Sheppard on the other hand was having more problems. The wave broke over him just as Zelenka was pulled out. The force slammed him forwards into the pier, knocking him unconscious while pulling him under.

With sharp reflexes, Ford and Teyla grabbed his wrists, and with McKay's help, managed to pull him up where the nurses instantly took him and put him on the gurney.

A groan startled out of her thoughts of the incident and back into the infirmary.

'Owwww, there had better have been alcohol, lots of alcohol!' Sheppard muttered as he opened his eyes a crack.

'Sorry sir, no such luck!' Ford replied cheerfully.

'Didn't think so. Zelenka, he okay?' John asked, suddenly remembering why he was there.

'I'm fine Major, thank you.' Radek replied, listening in on what was happening while Beckett checked over Sheppard's vitals.

Elizabeth closed her eyes in relief, they were both okay, even if they were slightly chilled and one had a mild concussion.

10101010101010101010101010101

'Now, since Zelenka and I were the main ones affected by this incident, Dr Weir has given us permission to set your punishment. Anything went unless it involved being sent to another planet or to the Wraith. Therefore, we've decided you will spend a day in each other's shoes. Today, I'm going to take you in Military manoeuvres and tomorrow, Zelenka will monitor you being Scientists.' Sheppard told the gathered Scientists and Soldiers who had been identified in taking part in this little war. 'You seem to think that your groups are more important than the others, well you're not. You only have different jobs and without each other, we will not survive the Wraith attack here. They are coming and we need to be ready. It will be then that the Soldiers who will sacrifice their own lives to save yours while you work on a way to save their lives and our home. Without each other, we will not survive, but together, there is a chance so get over your differences and learn to get along nicely or else we will all suffer the consequences. Now, fall in lines of six! NOW!'

And so the day of torture began Wier thought with a smile. She had heard the suggestions the two of them had posed and personally thought this one was the best.

Although, she was most likely going to change that in two days time when her office was filled with Scientists complaining they ran too far, did too many press-ups/sit-ups/squat-thrusts or was yelled at too loudly.

The Soldiers on the other hand would complain of being bored and belittled by McKay as they tried to complete the work they were given.

Either way, she could only hope that the complaints and divisions of the people would be resolved. It was a start at least if nothing else…


End file.
